Since the lil man was born, as soon as I enter a room I am greeted with 'ooohs' and 'aaahhhs' and I get it, babies just cause that warm and fuzzy feeling inside and mine is cute to boot :) And I must admit I love when people admire him with his semi-full head of hair and huge cheeks...but do you NEED to touch him??
I dont know if it's a culture thing, but I personally don't walk up to a stranger's kid and ask to touch them or hold them, it's just not done where I come from. I've lost count of the number of random people that have stopped me in the grocery, bank, beach, restaurant, even the airport actually 'asking' if they could touch him. Now of course this is marginally better than the persons who don't ask but just jump right in and pull his cheeks or worse yet touch or kiss his little hands!!! I think I'm still in shock everytime this happens because I just don't see it coming...EVER. Babies put their hands in their mouth constantly, why would you think it was okay to touch and play with them. And as for his cheeks, for godsakes he's not a pet, why are you pulling at his cheeks! I think know it is a universal rule that if you want to touch a baby you touch his toes, legs, or arms...did I read that somewhere? Probably not, I didn't have to, its just good ol' fashioned common sense.
Enter my dilema: how do I tell someone "don't touch my baby". Should I walk around with a sign featured in the picture above, whip out the hand sanitizer at the slightest suggestion of a touch or should I just say "No" when they ask. I have to be honest I am a bit of a people pleaser so I don't want to be rude and I respect the mothers out there who come right out and say "Please don't touch my baby". M's papi has absolutely no problem in doing this but for some reason it sounds nicer when he says it (maybe I need to work on my tone). Anyhoo in my mind it still sounds a little rude when I whisper it to myself in the mirror trying to practice my rebuff followed by a pleasant non offending smile. Having failed miserably at this exercise, I have opted to either shift my body if I see them lining up or getting too close, or I hold his hands so they are out of their reach or I make up an excuse to duck out of the scenario! But for the persons who are clearly professionals at touching other people's babies and in a blink of an eye they are all over him, I simply grab the wet wipes as soon as they are gone or I can get away.
I don't know that there is a polite way of telling someone not touch your baby. I've been thinking about using the phrasing: "I'd prefer that you didn't I don't want him to get sick"....but that sounds like I'm saying that you are a nasty germ carrying dirty diseased human that can can infest my child with a deadly virus...o_O?
What about this response: "'would you like me to touch/hold you?'" I read this in a chat room and thought it was hilarious, a little over board but funny nonetheless.
AND don't think this venting doesn't extend to the people I DO know. Most of my friends know that no one except myself, his dad and medical professionals had held or touched M for 3 months until my mom came to visit and well I surely couldn't tell her she couldn't hold him. I may have been a little paranoid and rightfully so as he was a preemie and had pneumonia a few days after birth. I want to shelter his little defense system as long as possible and those advocates of the "you need to expose him to build his immune system" approach....practice that on your own kid. I was protective and still am, you just don't know where people's hands have been.
I don't have this sign in my house but anyone who comes over and wants to interact with the baby is kindly shown the bathroom to indulge in some sweet-smelling anti-bacterial liquid soap...with a smile :)
Ok I'm done venting...for now.
