So I am now officially a a working mom. Siiiigghhh!!!
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| First Day at Work |
I started work on February 1 and this has indeed been an extremely trying month. After being at home for 4 months (we are legally entitled here in the BVI to 3 months maternity leave and I took an additional 1 month of vacation) re-entering the work force has to say the very least been a challenge. I have a very demanding job, working up to sometimes 10 hours a day, and it's important to not only be available at the drop of a hat to attend to a client's needs but to also 'appear' to be available. How can I 'appear' to be available with a 4 month old to rush home to?
The morning of my first day back to work my lil man was fast asleep and it took everything in me not to touch him so he would wake up and we could say our goodbyes. I quickly took a pic of him, touched his cheek and headed out the door. My heart sunk as I drove down the driveway, but I didn't burst into tears. Yaaahhh!!!!But while at work the tears built, with every other question from my colleagues:"how are you holding up?"; "did you cry?"; "do you trust the nanny?" I felt worse. I mean like really, that's what you want to talk about. My response: Smile and show them the pic I took that said morning and keep smiling.
A big surprise was I wasn't the nagging first time mom I thought I would be - I only called the nanny twice :) and because my workload was still light I was able to leave pretty early. Great first day!!! But as the week dragged on so many fears entered my mind, mainly: Suppose he forgets who I am? I had literally spent every waking hour for the last 3 months with lil M&M attached to me that now that we were spending the majority of our waking hours apart I was worried what would become of our relationship. Now he was spending all his time with 'the nanny'. Was I being replaced? Sure she can't bond with him over boobie time, but after not seeing me all day all week, will he remember who I am? I was really stressing by Friday, so that weekend we spent ALL 48 hours in each other's face. Lol!!! I took so many pictures that weekend it bordered on ridiculous...I had to make up for the daily pics I used to take when I was at home. It was a great weekend but then Monday rolled around and I got sad all over again. Suffice to say the first thing I did Monday morning was show the nanny how to operate the Flip video camera. I didn't want to miss anything.
I have no doubt that lil M's every need is being attended to so its not that I'm worried about his well being but I would really rather be home. NO ONE one can take better care of your baby than you. Papi asked if I wasn't bored being at home, but surprisingly I wasn't. When he was asleep I found all sorts of things to occupy myself with, from domestic chores, to catching up on the classics I never read. Unfortunately, although I may have been financially capable of staying at home for another 6 months, my job wouldn't wait for me to return. In this economical climate, keeping a job is paramount, so back to work I went. I look at other jurisdictions that allow up to an entire year of maternity leave and 6 months of paternity leave and envy those parents. Until you have a child you don't understand how precious time is, how every minute counts: one day they are babbling incoherantly, then they utter their first word; or they are literally dragging themselves on the floor for months and then they take their first step. You want to be there. No one wants to miss those milestones. But in the real, not so perfect world we have to do the best we can.
I've been back to work for a month now and am trying to maximise my time with pumpkin:
Get to work early. The nanny comes at 7:30 so that I should ideally be out the house by then so I can beat the morning traffic and be at work before 8 before the office noise commences. The rationale is the earlier I am in the earlier I am out
Work through lunch. If I work through lunch and complete my tasks then I can be home by 5:30 to spend some quality time with him even if its just to put him to bed.
Work from home. I have never been one to advocate taking work home, I have always believed that home is exactly that: "home". But with a baby who goes to sleep by 6:30 (a time when previously I would be in high gear at work) remote access in is now by new best friend. Once he's down for the count I can chug out a few more hours if neccessary.
Get up with baby in the early morning. When Master M wakes up at 4/5/6 am to play I am tempted to just let him play on his own because I am just too tired to get up. But every hour becomes precious and so if he's up and its a little dark outside, and he wants to play, then we'll play.
Make the weekends count. On the weekends when I have errands to run, lunch with the girls, or even a dance rehearsal, baby comes along if its practical. Its so easy to say let me just run out and go to the store, but with only 48 hours of one on one time, "my little handbag" tags along everywhere.
Cut down on the extra-curricular activities. I love being busy, that's just me. Sitting down at home and just chilling has never been my thing. Even whilst I was pregnant, performed in a dance show, and held various positions on Boards of a number of diferent organisation. With little free time I now have, I have choosen to give up those posts for this incoming year. Who wants to be in meetings every week, when that time could be spent playing peek-a-boo? My one exception is dance ... that's the only thing that keeps me sane :).
You other new moms out there, balancing motherhood and the work world are you being successful? Any tips for me? Do share.
