I MISS YOU!!!Why hast thou forsaken me?
We have spent 32 beautiful years together wherein I have nourished and cherished you to the best of my ability. I live a vegetarian style lifestyle - ensuring you are fed only the best nutrients. I exercise regularly to keep that blood flow going sometimes up to 5 times per week. I challenge you to the max: 2 degrees and counting, numerous courses and certificates, sudoko, scrabble, PS-3. I even try to control my environment - interacting with the intellegencia (whoever they are), listening to classical music (well that's not entirely true but I've thought about)...the point is this: I have done everthing humanly possible to help you to thrive and you have abandoned me. Now. At this most crucial time.
In fact I blame you mostly for the reason why this post is 8 weeks late.
Ok so I'm having a baby...WE know this, sorry I didn't give you notice, it kinda just happened...but is that any reason to just up and disappear without notice, without any consideration to our long forged friendship. You do realise that without you I am ... a babbling mess.
Initally I thought you were just toying with my feelings: so what if I throw my car keys in the garbage, or misplace parts of the blender I JUST washed in same said garbage?
Now I remember absolutely nothing and my attention span is that of a flea. Let me break this down for you if you think I am overreacting: I am on the other line when a call comes in, I answer call and totally forget about initial caller; I forget BOTH phones at home on my way to work; I just blank out in mid-sentence, mid-stride WHILE talking, or worse yet while arguing my point; I am now in auto pilot so that the question: "Did I plug out the iron?" frequently arises...
Look...I get it ...You have other things to think about, in the first trimester we thought constantly about this new adventure and worried about the baby's health and now we have to so much to plan and put in place before his arrival but do understand that while Baby Solomon is currently taking over my hands ( I drop everything); my feet (my sneakers can no longer be laced) ; my waistline (which no longer exists); my boobs (well I honestly can't complain about that)... I thought that at least I could retain control over you. Silly me!!
I have done some research on what I am now affectionately calling you: my "poop brain" and of course there is no 'real' scientific explanation for this phenomena (go figure). I have read that pregnant women's brain decrease in size and that the decerease in mental ability for us could differ as much as it would between a 20 year old and a 60 year old. YIKES!! Then of course some idiot actually wrote that it was all myth (clearly written by a man). I found some seemingly brilliant suggestions to combat our little dilema which do NOT appear to be working for us:
1. Laugh it off. Ok so maybe this will work with my friends who by now are accostomed to my sieve brain, but can I really laugh it off with a client when dealing with their legal rights and interest and millions of dollars? hmmmm
2. Make a list. This works to a point. A very short one. What if I can't remember what to put on the list? Or even to write a list? That little notepad with "the lists"...where last did I put it?
3. Use techonology. So I have decided to use the notepad application on my blackberry to keep 'my lists' but by the time I have another item to add, look for my phone and pull up the app...I am staring at the keys trying to remember what it is I wanted to jot down #epicfail
4. Delegate. To whom? I am President of this...Secretary of that...Director of this...Associate...If I delegate and it gets screwed up, what then. And if I do delegate I still have to oversee, so I might as well do it myself. I just don't want to throw my hands up in the air when my current mantra is "Pregnancy is not a disability I am woman hear me roar!!!". Still working on this point....clearly.
5. Simplify my life. I actually like this and so far its been working in my favour. Everything doesn't have to be done today and everything isn't urgent. And if it doesn't get done...so be it.
So whether its my hormones having some fun or you are shrinkng in size, you see this pregnancy induced brain fog, brain drain, mummy brain...whatever you want to call it...this bandwagon you have jumped on because everybody else with child is doing it...I COMMAND YOU TO STOP, get a grip and resume normal functioning...pretty please :)
Forever yours
Owner??
