Do I know you? Don't touch the baby!!!

Since the lil man was born, as soon as I enter a room I am greeted with 'ooohs' and 'aaahhhs' and I get it, babies just cause that warm and fuzzy feeling inside and mine is cute to boot :) And I must admit I love when people admire him with his semi-full head of hair and huge cheeks...but do you NEED to touch him??

I dont know if it's a culture thing, but I personally don't walk up to a stranger's kid and ask to touch them or hold them, it's just not done where I come from. I've lost count of the number of random people that have stopped me in the grocery, bank, beach, restaurant, even the airport actually 'asking' if they could touch him. Now of course this is marginally better than the persons who don't ask but just jump right in and pull his cheeks or worse yet touch or kiss his little hands!!! I think I'm still in shock everytime this happens because I just don't see it coming...EVER. Babies put their hands in their mouth constantly, why would you think it was okay to touch and play with them. And as for his cheeks, for godsakes he's not a pet, why are you pulling at his cheeks! I think  know it is a universal rule that if you want to touch a baby you touch his toes, legs, or arms...did I read that somewhere? Probably not, I didn't have to, its just good ol' fashioned common sense.

Enter my dilema: how do I tell someone "don't touch my baby". Should I walk around with a sign featured in the picture above, whip out the hand sanitizer at the slightest suggestion of a touch or should I just say "No" when they ask. I have to be honest I am a bit of a people pleaser so I don't want to be rude and I respect the mothers out there who come right out and say "Please don't touch my baby". M's papi has absolutely no problem in doing this but for some reason it sounds nicer when he says it (maybe I need to work on my tone). Anyhoo in my mind it still sounds a little rude when I whisper it to myself in the mirror trying to practice my rebuff followed by a pleasant non offending smile. Having failed miserably at this exercise, I have opted to either shift my body if I see them lining up or getting too close, or I hold his hands so they are out of their reach or I make up an excuse to duck out of the scenario! But for the persons who are clearly professionals at touching other people's babies and in a blink of an eye they are all over him, I simply grab the wet wipes as soon as they are gone or I can get away.

I don't know that there is a polite way of telling someone not touch your baby. I've been thinking about using the phrasing: "I'd prefer that you didn't I don't want him to get sick"....but that sounds like I'm saying that you are a nasty germ carrying dirty diseased human that can can infest my child with a deadly virus...o_O?

What about this response: "'would you like me to touch/hold you?'" I read this in a chat room and thought it was hilarious, a little over board but funny nonetheless.

AND don't think this venting doesn't extend to the people I DO know. Most of my friends know that no one except myself, his dad and medical professionals had held or touched M for 3 months until my mom came to visit and well I surely couldn't tell her she couldn't hold him. I may have been a little paranoid and rightfully so as he was a preemie and had pneumonia a few days after birth. I want to shelter his little defense system as long as possible and those advocates of the "you need to expose him to build his immune system" approach....practice that on your own kid.  I was protective and still am, you just don't know where people's hands have been.

I don't have this sign in my house but anyone who comes over and wants to interact with the baby is kindly shown the bathroom to indulge in some sweet-smelling anti-bacterial liquid soap...with a smile :)

Ok I'm done venting...for now.

Wordless Wednesday - Beach Baby!!!

Peter Island



 

We reach!!!

  



Let me crawl over this mountain see what's on the other side

 

Daddy too too funny




Play time was exhausting





Beach bum

  
 

I'm up and ready to hit the waves!!!

Mum can you grab my sun glasses for me



Too late to change my mind....oh bwoy

 

Baby steps, lets chill on the shore first

Sand...hmmm not sure about this on my toesies

  



Next step, feet first



 

I think mummy's having more fun than me



 I've mastered treading water

 



WHEeeeeee!!!!



No more pics please



 

Thanks mum, you're the bestest





Knocked out after my first sea bath













 





The Balancing Act: The Working Mum

So I am now officially a a working mom. Siiiigghhh!!!
 

First Day at Work




I started work on February 1 and this has indeed been an extremely trying month. After being at home for 4 months (we are legally entitled here in the BVI to 3 months maternity leave and I took an additional 1 month of vacation) re-entering the work force has to say the very least been a challenge. I have a very demanding job, working up to sometimes 10 hours a day, and it's important to not only be available at the drop of a hat to attend to a client's needs but to also 'appear' to be available. How can I 'appear' to be available with a 4 month old to rush home to?

The morning of my first day back to work my lil man was fast asleep and it took everything in me not to touch him so he would wake up and we could say our goodbyes. I quickly took a pic of him, touched his cheek and headed out the door. My heart sunk as I drove down the driveway, but I didn't burst into tears. Yaaahhh!!!!But while at work the tears built, with every other question from my colleagues:"how are you holding up?"; "did you cry?"; "do you trust the nanny?" I felt worse. I mean like really, that's what you want to talk about. My response: Smile and show them the pic I took that said morning and keep smiling.

A big surprise was I wasn't the nagging first time mom I thought I would be - I only called the nanny twice :) and because my workload was still light I was able to leave pretty early. Great first day!!!  But as the week dragged on so many fears entered my mind, mainly: Suppose he forgets who I am? I had literally spent every waking hour for the last 3 months with lil M&M attached to me that now that we were spending the majority of our waking hours apart I was worried what would become of our relationship. Now he was spending all his time with 'the nanny'. Was I being replaced? Sure she can't bond with him over boobie time, but after not seeing me all day all week, will he remember who I am? I was really stressing by Friday, so that weekend we spent ALL 48 hours in each other's face. Lol!!! I took so many pictures that weekend it bordered on ridiculous...I had to make up for the daily pics I used to take when I was at home. It was a great weekend but then Monday rolled around and I got sad all over again. Suffice to say the first thing I did Monday morning was show the nanny how to operate the Flip video camera. I didn't want to miss anything.

I have no doubt that lil M's every need is being attended to so its not that I'm worried about his well being but I would really rather be home. NO ONE one can take better care of your baby than you.  Papi asked if I wasn't bored being at home, but surprisingly I wasn't. When he was asleep I found all sorts of things to occupy myself with, from domestic chores, to catching up on the classics I never read. Unfortunately, although I may have been financially capable of staying at home for another 6 months, my job wouldn't wait for me to return. In this economical climate, keeping a job is paramount, so back to work I went. I look at other jurisdictions that allow up to an entire year of maternity leave and 6 months of paternity leave and envy those parents. Until you have a child you don't understand how precious time is, how every minute counts: one day they are babbling incoherantly, then they utter their first word; or they are literally dragging themselves on the floor for months and then they take their first step. You want to be there. No one wants to miss those milestones. But in the real, not so perfect world we have to do the best we can.

I've been back to work for a month now and am trying to maximise my time with pumpkin:

• Get to work early. The nanny comes at 7:30 so that I should ideally be out the house by then so I can beat the morning traffic and be at work before 8 before the office noise commences. The rationale is the earlier I am in the earlier I am out
• Work through lunch. If I work through lunch and complete my tasks then I can be home by 5:30 to spend some quality time with him even if its just to put him to bed.
• Work from home. I have never been one to advocate taking work home, I have always believed that home is exactly that: "home". But with a baby who goes to sleep by 6:30 (a time when previously I would be in high gear at work) remote access in is now by new best friend. Once he's down for the count I can chug out a few more hours if neccessary.
• Get up with baby in the early morning. When Master M wakes up at 4/5/6 am to play I am tempted to just let him play on his own because I am just too tired to get up. But every hour becomes precious and so if he's up and its a little dark outside, and he wants to play, then we'll play.
• Make the weekends count. On the weekends when I have errands to run, lunch with the girls, or even a dance rehearsal, baby comes along if its practical. Its so easy to say let me just run out and go to the store, but with only 48 hours of one on one time, "my little handbag" tags along everywhere.
• Cut down on the extra-curricular activities. I love being busy, that's just me. Sitting down at home and just chilling has never been my thing. Even whilst I was pregnant, performed in a dance show, and held various positions on Boards of a number of diferent organisation. With little free time I now have, I have choosen to give up those posts for this incoming year. Who wants to be in meetings every week, when that time could be spent playing peek-a-boo? My one exception is dance ... that's the only thing that keeps me sane :).

You other new moms out there, balancing motherhood and the work world are you being successful? Any tips for me? Do share.

4 Month Master M - The Babbler

This is Master M the one whom my entire life revolves around. I gave birth to my gorgeous son 4 months 3 weeks ago and since then I have been enjoying motherhood to the fullest. My little one really is one of the sweetest babies ever (and no I'm just not saying that)....he's just so content and peaceful, not fussy at all. I really can't complain!! I hear horror stories from other new moms about how their child cries constantly, or won't sleep for more that 30 minutes at any time, but everyone is simply amazed at how relaxed, good natured and laid back he is, a quality he gets from both his parents :) Once you're on time with his bottle, he's the happiest little camper.

I know I have been scarce, practically non-existent on this blog since his birth and truthfully I would have had it no other way, but I thought today would be a great  time to break the silence....why? This morning I awoke at 6:30 am to sounds of pumpkin babbling and screaming with joy. I had to pry my eyes open so I wouldn't miss the action as I still had another 30 minutes of shut eye to left, but he was insistent on being heard. Not needing any encouragement, just an audience he continued to entertain himself, oblivious to me watching on. It truly is amazing how easily babies can entertain themselves. His Auntie Oms says "Its the angels talking to him" and I always respond "Well he's getting an earful" because this child can carry on all on his own for a good while. The wee hours of the morning are pumpkin's happiest, after that long nap (he's now up to 7-8 hours of consistent sleep at night) he's ready to take on the world even if its 4am.

What else can I tell you about my little bundle by means of introduction:
1. He loves to smile at strange women (already a player)
2. He hates to be kissed in his face
3. He loves the outdoors, but doesn't fancy the sun much
4. He prefers people to toys on any given day
5. He has a high tolerance for pain (no doubt a threshold developed during his time in the NICU)
6. He already likes rough housing with daddy

Now that I have started to post again I have quite a bit to report about the last 4 months so stay tuned for more about the love of my life, motherhood and raising my lil man.

I celebrate life everyday, and to give thanks to God for the greatest gift he could have given me.

Dear Brain

Dear Brain:

I MISS YOU!!!Why hast thou forsaken me?

We have spent 32 beautiful years together wherein I have nourished and cherished you to the best of my ability. I live a vegetarian style lifestyle - ensuring you are fed only the best nutrients. I exercise regularly to keep that blood flow going sometimes up to 5 times per week. I challenge you to the max: 2 degrees and counting, numerous courses and certificates, sudoko, scrabble, PS-3. I even try to control my environment - interacting with the intellegencia (whoever they are), listening to classical music (well that's not entirely true but I've thought about)...the point is this: I have done everthing humanly possible to help you to thrive and you have abandoned me. Now. At this most crucial time.

In fact I blame you mostly for the reason why this post is 8 weeks late.

Ok so I'm having a baby...WE know this, sorry I didn't give you notice, it kinda just happened...but is that any reason to just up and disappear without notice, without any consideration to our long forged friendship. You do realise that without you I am ... a babbling mess.

Initally I thought you were just toying with my feelings: so what if I throw my car keys in the garbage, or misplace parts of the blender I JUST washed in same said garbage?

Now I remember absolutely nothing and my attention span is that of a flea. Let me break this down for you if you think I am overreacting: I am on the other line when a call comes in, I answer call and totally forget about initial caller; I forget BOTH  phones at home on my way to work; I just blank out in mid-sentence, mid-stride WHILE  talking, or worse yet while arguing my point; I am now in auto pilot so that the question: "Did I plug out the iron?" frequently arises...

Look...I get it ...You have other things to think about, in the first trimester we thought constantly about this new adventure and worried about the baby's health and now we have to so much to plan and put in place before his arrival but do understand that while Baby Solomon is currently taking over my hands ( I drop everything); my feet (my sneakers can no longer be laced) ; my waistline (which no longer exists); my boobs (well I honestly can't complain about that)... I thought that at least I could retain control over you. Silly me!!

I have done some research on what I am now affectionately calling you: my "poop brain" and of course there is no 'real' scientific explanation for this phenomena (go figure). I have read that pregnant women's brain decrease in size and that the decerease in mental ability for us could differ as much as it would between a 20 year old and a 60 year old. YIKES!! Then of course some idiot actually wrote that it was all myth (clearly written by a man). I found some seemingly brilliant suggestions to combat our little dilema which do NOT appear to be working for us:

1. Laugh it off. Ok so maybe this will work with my friends  who by now are accostomed to my sieve brain, but can I really laugh it off with a client when dealing with their legal rights and interest and millions of  dollars? hmmmm

2. Make a list. This works to a point. A very short one. What if I can't remember what to put on the list? Or even to write a list? That little notepad with "the lists"...where last did I put it?

3. Use techonology. So I have decided  to use the notepad application on my blackberry to keep 'my lists' but by the time I have another item to add, look for my phone and pull up the app...I am staring at the keys trying to remember what it is I wanted to jot down #epicfail

4. Delegate. To whom? I am President of this...Secretary of that...Director of this...Associate...If I delegate and it gets screwed up, what then. And if I do delegate I still have to oversee, so I might as well do it myself. I just don't want to throw my hands up in the air when my current mantra is "Pregnancy is not a disability I am woman hear me roar!!!". Still working on this point....clearly.

5. Simplify my life. I actually like this and so far its been working in my favour. Everything doesn't have to be done today and everything isn't urgent. And if it doesn't get done...so be it.

So whether its my hormones having some fun or you are shrinkng in size, you see this pregnancy induced brain fog, brain drain, mummy brain...whatever you want to call it...this bandwagon you have jumped on because everybody else with child is doing it...I COMMAND YOU TO STOP, get a grip and resume normal functioning...pretty please :)

Forever yours

Owner??

Half-way There: Belly pics

"Celebrate good times...Come on!!! Let's Celebrate!!" That was my theme song for wëek 20, cus we only got 20 more to go hehehehe. It was short work week thankfully so I got to relax with the family and just shoot the breeze.

We girls have a way of knowing when we may need to hit the gym or stop pigging out on that Hagendaz, well there is nothing like growing due to pregnancy, no amount of exercise or healthy food can stop the pounds from piling on and for some it happens overnight. Gratefully my blooming belly has grown steadily and constantly from day one, I think I'm huge but ....no I am huge, but the best compliment I had this week was from mum: You are so small you look like you gonna drop an egg.  If ONLY...cus this baby gonna be way bigger than that.

We are really bad at remembering to take weekly photos but here are some pics recording my growth, an inspiration for some and for others a perfect form of birth control...lol!!!

Week Prior to Conception

Week 12

                                                                    

Week 16

Week 18

Week 20

I've been tempted to get out my measuring tape just to see what my circumference is like, but it may be too depressing of an exercise, considering the little one is actually only the length of a banana...a banana!?! I definitely feel like I'm carrying around more than that. That having been said its an amazing experience to watch my tummy grow, and to stretch to capacity. Women are extra-ordinary creatures I tell you and I have never felt more womanly (hence the urge to prance about in my bikini)!!! My boss calls me the vessel and though I would want to slap him, it makes me smile because that is exactly what I am. I feel so blessed everyday to be given the opportunity to nurture another human being, just think everything I eat he eats, everything I feel he feels, thats why its so important to be a happy mummy and so far so good. Blessings abound!!!

Let's see what the next 20 weeks brings!!!

xoxoxo

Miscellaneous Stuff:
Baby's first concert: Had a blast jumping and waving my backside off....yes mummy can still party
Favourite food: Eschovitch fish and festival...yummy in my tummy (MS knows his way around the kitchen)
Pet Peeve: My colleague typing on his keyboard is suddenly becoming very annoying...clackety clack clack all day long
Gift: Boppy pillow to help me sleep, soft and cushiony but not quite sure if its doing the trick for me

Week 19: Pink or Blue Booties

Ok, so I am trying to write a post each week, but I'm either too lazy or too drained to make it to the comp...but here I am reporting to you on week 19, the MOST exciting week of my pregnancy thus far.
This week we had our ultrasound to determine whether Baby Solomon  was developing nicely and had all his appendages (I luv that word) and I am pleased to report that yes he does. Now I know that we keep referring to him as 'he' and even the technician commented on it, he said: "You guys seem pretty convinced its a boy"...but the truth is I'm humouring my partner (hereinafter referred to as "MS") who wants a boy, he has a name and everything picked out, but I'll get to that later.

Soooo question of the week or rather of the last 16 weeks has been: Is it a boy or a girl? It's hilarious because even when I was hardly showing and still had a six pack (a post coming soon on the loss thereof) that was the first thing people asked. Well this week was even worse, I had friends and family coming at me left, right and center. My own mother tried to persuade me that as I was the ONLY one who didn't want to know the sex and that maybe she should talk to MS, have him find out and I can be the only one in the dark...hmmmm no mum...sorry it was a mutual decison. As soon as we walked into the room MS announced "We don't want to know the sex", which made me smile cus I knew for sure then we were on the same page.

Can I tell you that having an ultrasound is one of the most exciting features of my pregnancy, to be able to see my baby growing inside me is just fanastic. Here I am fantasizing about buying a machine just so I can say HI to him everyday and I'm reading online that  maybe only 2-3 ultrasounds are necessary in the 40 wks....crazy!!! On this particular day baby was extremely uncooperative, just wouldn't keep still so we could get that perfect shot. First he was somersaulting then he cooled down and was pleasantly sucking his thumb and boxing with his free hand (did a quick check all his fingers are there :)), then he just refused to look in our direction, so all we could get was a profile pic which you see below. Its a bit blurry but that's our bambino in black and white!!!! Big head nuh? I don't even want to think about how much it will grow in the next 20 weeks...vaginal birth...makes you reconsider right?

So I was saying before a name, and I stress ONE  name has been picked by Sir MS. We hit a serious roadblock this week on the "Name Our Baby"exercise. MS already has a boy name picked out which we've been affectionately using for the last 3 months, but last week I screamed what would be his full name to to top of my lungs and it just didn't flow. As MS doesn't seem to be budging and none of my suggestions float his boat we seem to be stuck with what we've got...for now. As for the girl name, that's mine to choose but he agrees with none of them, and so when IT IS  girl and everyone but me is surprised, she'll just be called 'baby girl' for some time at this rate.

With all that excitement during the week when I didn't think it could get any better but it did...my mum surprised me with a visit, all planned between her and MS. I love surprises but this took the cake, all I could do was cry my eyes out when I saw her. I haven't seen her since last December and I guess she couldn't wait for December to roll around to see me again when I will have child in tow. According to her she had to meet MS and see me and my belly bump in its glory. Her first words to me were: "Are you still wearing tights pants?" as she surveyeyed me in my skinny jeans...lol!!! Like I can't be sexy pregnant. Gotta luv her. Her week's visit will deserve its own post but suffice to say it was splendid.

My friends have been asking for some belly pics so to celebrate week 20 I'll post some.

Kisses.


You may want to know:
New feeling: Hiccups in my tummy :), a sign that baby is exercising his lungs
Favourite item of clothing: those skinny jeans (in a size I will not share)
Cry fest: 2 - Mum's arrival and MS said something to piss me off (still love him though)
Craving: Watermelon and kiwi