Wordless Wednesday - Faces n Phases of Marcus



Day 2 of life - Hello world!!

    


November - released from NICU, on my way home

     

December - Getting chubby and cooing away

January - I can sit up....with a lil assitance of course

February - tummy time on mummy's insistence 

March - getting the toesies wet

April - all smiles

May  - my serious face for the paparazzi

June  - face of the month -  my teeth are coming  




July - excitement! mummy's coming to take me out of prison



August - at brunch - absolutely no table manners

September - my favourite spot, the beach. I'm fearless!!!





October 5, 2012 - WE survived a year!!! Woo hoo!!! Where's my cake??

Birth Story Day 2 Part I: Spa Day or D-Day

Lesson #2: Life really is like a box of chocolates, you are only in control of so much of your life.

Peter Island

Sunday October 2, 2011. It was a great day in paradise like many other days living on a beautiful island. I had survived the backache and phantom fever the previous day and night and I was ready to resume enjoying my pregnancy. I had plans...a day on Peter Island with my girlfiriends.

Admittedly, when I rolled out of bed I still didn't feel like my old self and after having breakfast and moving around a bit I felt what could only be described as minor menstrual cramps. Nothing painful just once again uncomfortable. At this point I'm not thinking I'm in labour or even that I should see a doctor. My water hadn't broke and I wasn't doubling over in pain so I figured I was good to go.

I hopped on the ferry and was off to have a lovely day in the sun. By the time we arrived on Peter Island the cramps had intensified so I called my trusty doctor friend (Dr. S) and asked her what I should do. She advised that I had probably contracted a UTI which was very common in pregnancies (yes, I had read that as well) and that I should take some pain killers, get some rest, drink lots of fluids and come see her in the morning.  Sounded like solid advice and so the hunt for pain killers began. I can't remember what we found but I know we googled the brand to determine whether it was safe. I think up to this point I had successfully managed to avoid any kind of medications, hadn't caught a cold, no headaches etc...I was on #teamhealthypregnancy all the way. But now in my 3rd trimester I was taking a pain killer for a UTI? Par for the course I guess.

I recall walking into the spa and realising that it was too difficult to stand up for long periods I went to have a seat as my friends checked in. The lady at the front desk seeing my condition suggested I take a dip in the pool and relax... and so I did.

The relief I felt was extraordinary.

After relaxing for a while we headed to the beach for lunch. At this point I was feeling pretty good. Maybe it was the painkillers, maybe it was the ambience, but the cramps were dulled and I was in a good mood.




Outside Deadman's Beach Bar & Grill on Peter Island
Do I look like I'm in labour?

  Of course my girlfriends we freaking out as soon as they heard the word 'cramps' mentioned wondering if the motion of the boat on our return trip could induce labour. With them fussing continuously over me we cut our day short and headed back to the main land after lunch.

When I returned home I decided to take a nap hoping to feel better when I awoke. Unfortunately I didn't and on one trip to the bathroom, that 'doubled over in pain' feeling I spoke about earlier hit me like a mac truck. All of a sudden I couldn't walk upright. I immediately called everyone I knew in close proximity and was rushed to the hospital.

At the hospital I sat and waited and waited. I filled out forms, answered stupid questions and waited to see a doctor, all the time thinking to myself 'well clearly they don't think this is serious'. By the time I was able to see Dr. S I KNEW I was in labour, no one had to tell me that. Every few minutes I was doubled over in pain. I was sent to do a urine test and while in the bathroom I was hit was a surge of pain that caused me to hold on the basin for dear life and yell "Good God!" When I walked outside everyone was staring at me and I was actually slightly embarrassed. In my head I shouted "None  y'all never seen a pregnant woman in labour?" but I just kept on walking. I was then given some meds for the pain, they DID NOT work. On the examination table the look on Dr. S' face said it all...something was not right.

Okay so you might ask, where was my obstetrician Dr. P.Well for one, he is a politician, and it was election time, secondly, it was Sunday. Do the math. He was just not answering his phone. Lucky for me he was on the hospital grounds seeing to another patient and literally just happened to be walking through the ER to leave. His first reaction to seeing me in stirrups was "What's going on here?" Dr. S' response: "Doc, I think you better have a look yourself." Dr. P (impatent voice) "No you tell me". They closed the curtain and whispered to each other for 2 minutes, then he comes in, takes a peek between my legs and very calmly rests his hand on my stomach and waits for the next contraction. He says that I'm in preterm labour. Hmmm really doc?? You don't say!!! Then calmly states: "You could very well have this baby tonight. Dr. S have her taken up to the maternity ward, we wouldn't want her to have the baby in the ER". Apparently that was a major concern.

Everything that happened from thereon out until I reached the maternity ward is a blurr, I can't even remember who was holding my hand. Someone was telling me to breathe but they have no face.

As I recall these events a year later they may seen comical but I awas terrified beyond measure. This was not my plan. I had never contemplated having this baby before December 21. But as they say "make plans, God laughs". 

Birth Story Day 1: A hint of Labour

Lesson #1: Listen to your body, only you know when something's just not right. 

I know its been forever since I have written but I've been pretty busy with...well... life and its been really good to me.

A quick run down of the last few months: we moved house into this great spacious 3 bedroom, 3 and a half bath house for a steal of a deal. We love that there is so much floor space for M to move in...and move he does. I fear he may never walk because he creeps at lightning speed and gets where he needs to super fast. We are also finally getting into a rhythm that works for our family. Resuming extra curricular activites, gym, work and balancing that with a healthy family life is not easy. I am back on track at work, involved in community work once more and recently signed up for a half-marathon (don't ask why...like I needed more on my plate), so I'm presently focused on training for that monster of a challenge.

Evertime M hits a new milestone or is a month older I say I'm gonna start blogging again but frankly and honestly I just haven't had or made the time. I don't want to even look at a computer once I get home...so I'm doing this during my lunch hour :) With plans underway to celebrate M's first year of life I thought it would be nice to walk down memory lane: this time last year.

1 October 2011 was a Saturday and I remember that day very clearly. As usual I was just happy to do just put up my feet, laze around the house and do absolutely nothing. The previous night I had visited a children's home with my Rotary club to make kites. Suffice to say I had never made a kite in my entire life (a skill that will no doubt come in handy in the future), but it was an evening well spent having fun with the kids and channelling our creativity.





Trying with my 2 left hands to tie my sticks together



What stands out about that night is a comment made by a friend who said "I hope you have your bags packed, you could go anytime now".  I laughed of course as I was only 28 weeks along and had tons of time and wobbling to go....or so I thought. I was feeling great so there was absolutely no need to worry or go into panic mode just yet. The items for my hospital bag was still in their Kmart shopping bag in the back of the closet.

So the next morning when I woke up I was a shocked to realise that I had some slight back pain, more like discomfort, nothing alarming, but nonetheless new to me. I convinced myself this was all par for the course. I'd been lucky so far with no major complaints, weren't the last few months supposed to be at least 'uncomfortable'? I spent the entire day sitting on my exercise ball rocking back and forth as no position was comfortable and was grateful for the antics of my partner to distract me to help the day pass. By nightfall however I was feeling very cold and swore I had a tempaerature. My partner said I was over reacting and I again convinced myself that this was normal. Hadn't I read that pregnant women usually have fluctuating temperatures? (Yeah I'd read a LOT!) I decided to take a shower and have a nap. Sometime during the night I started to sweat perfusely but in a few hours I felt okay and was able to get a good night's rest.

What happened when I awoke the next morning is a whole different story...but tomorrow for that.

Do I know you? Don't touch the baby!!!

Since the lil man was born, as soon as I enter a room I am greeted with 'ooohs' and 'aaahhhs' and I get it, babies just cause that warm and fuzzy feeling inside and mine is cute to boot :) And I must admit I love when people admire him with his semi-full head of hair and huge cheeks...but do you NEED to touch him??

I dont know if it's a culture thing, but I personally don't walk up to a stranger's kid and ask to touch them or hold them, it's just not done where I come from. I've lost count of the number of random people that have stopped me in the grocery, bank, beach, restaurant, even the airport actually 'asking' if they could touch him. Now of course this is marginally better than the persons who don't ask but just jump right in and pull his cheeks or worse yet touch or kiss his little hands!!! I think I'm still in shock everytime this happens because I just don't see it coming...EVER. Babies put their hands in their mouth constantly, why would you think it was okay to touch and play with them. And as for his cheeks, for godsakes he's not a pet, why are you pulling at his cheeks! I think  know it is a universal rule that if you want to touch a baby you touch his toes, legs, or arms...did I read that somewhere? Probably not, I didn't have to, its just good ol' fashioned common sense.

Enter my dilema: how do I tell someone "don't touch my baby". Should I walk around with a sign featured in the picture above, whip out the hand sanitizer at the slightest suggestion of a touch or should I just say "No" when they ask. I have to be honest I am a bit of a people pleaser so I don't want to be rude and I respect the mothers out there who come right out and say "Please don't touch my baby". M's papi has absolutely no problem in doing this but for some reason it sounds nicer when he says it (maybe I need to work on my tone). Anyhoo in my mind it still sounds a little rude when I whisper it to myself in the mirror trying to practice my rebuff followed by a pleasant non offending smile. Having failed miserably at this exercise, I have opted to either shift my body if I see them lining up or getting too close, or I hold his hands so they are out of their reach or I make up an excuse to duck out of the scenario! But for the persons who are clearly professionals at touching other people's babies and in a blink of an eye they are all over him, I simply grab the wet wipes as soon as they are gone or I can get away.

I don't know that there is a polite way of telling someone not touch your baby. I've been thinking about using the phrasing: "I'd prefer that you didn't I don't want him to get sick"....but that sounds like I'm saying that you are a nasty germ carrying dirty diseased human that can can infest my child with a deadly virus...o_O?

What about this response: "'would you like me to touch/hold you?'" I read this in a chat room and thought it was hilarious, a little over board but funny nonetheless.

AND don't think this venting doesn't extend to the people I DO know. Most of my friends know that no one except myself, his dad and medical professionals had held or touched M for 3 months until my mom came to visit and well I surely couldn't tell her she couldn't hold him. I may have been a little paranoid and rightfully so as he was a preemie and had pneumonia a few days after birth. I want to shelter his little defense system as long as possible and those advocates of the "you need to expose him to build his immune system" approach....practice that on your own kid.  I was protective and still am, you just don't know where people's hands have been.

I don't have this sign in my house but anyone who comes over and wants to interact with the baby is kindly shown the bathroom to indulge in some sweet-smelling anti-bacterial liquid soap...with a smile :)

Ok I'm done venting...for now.

Wordless Wednesday - Beach Baby!!!

Peter Island



 

We reach!!!

  



Let me crawl over this mountain see what's on the other side

 

Daddy too too funny




Play time was exhausting





Beach bum

  
 

I'm up and ready to hit the waves!!!

Mum can you grab my sun glasses for me



Too late to change my mind....oh bwoy

 

Baby steps, lets chill on the shore first

Sand...hmmm not sure about this on my toesies

  



Next step, feet first



 

I think mummy's having more fun than me



 I've mastered treading water

 



WHEeeeeee!!!!



No more pics please



 

Thanks mum, you're the bestest





Knocked out after my first sea bath













 





The Balancing Act: The Working Mum

So I am now officially a a working mom. Siiiigghhh!!!
 

First Day at Work




I started work on February 1 and this has indeed been an extremely trying month. After being at home for 4 months (we are legally entitled here in the BVI to 3 months maternity leave and I took an additional 1 month of vacation) re-entering the work force has to say the very least been a challenge. I have a very demanding job, working up to sometimes 10 hours a day, and it's important to not only be available at the drop of a hat to attend to a client's needs but to also 'appear' to be available. How can I 'appear' to be available with a 4 month old to rush home to?

The morning of my first day back to work my lil man was fast asleep and it took everything in me not to touch him so he would wake up and we could say our goodbyes. I quickly took a pic of him, touched his cheek and headed out the door. My heart sunk as I drove down the driveway, but I didn't burst into tears. Yaaahhh!!!!But while at work the tears built, with every other question from my colleagues:"how are you holding up?"; "did you cry?"; "do you trust the nanny?" I felt worse. I mean like really, that's what you want to talk about. My response: Smile and show them the pic I took that said morning and keep smiling.

A big surprise was I wasn't the nagging first time mom I thought I would be - I only called the nanny twice :) and because my workload was still light I was able to leave pretty early. Great first day!!!  But as the week dragged on so many fears entered my mind, mainly: Suppose he forgets who I am? I had literally spent every waking hour for the last 3 months with lil M&M attached to me that now that we were spending the majority of our waking hours apart I was worried what would become of our relationship. Now he was spending all his time with 'the nanny'. Was I being replaced? Sure she can't bond with him over boobie time, but after not seeing me all day all week, will he remember who I am? I was really stressing by Friday, so that weekend we spent ALL 48 hours in each other's face. Lol!!! I took so many pictures that weekend it bordered on ridiculous...I had to make up for the daily pics I used to take when I was at home. It was a great weekend but then Monday rolled around and I got sad all over again. Suffice to say the first thing I did Monday morning was show the nanny how to operate the Flip video camera. I didn't want to miss anything.

I have no doubt that lil M's every need is being attended to so its not that I'm worried about his well being but I would really rather be home. NO ONE one can take better care of your baby than you.  Papi asked if I wasn't bored being at home, but surprisingly I wasn't. When he was asleep I found all sorts of things to occupy myself with, from domestic chores, to catching up on the classics I never read. Unfortunately, although I may have been financially capable of staying at home for another 6 months, my job wouldn't wait for me to return. In this economical climate, keeping a job is paramount, so back to work I went. I look at other jurisdictions that allow up to an entire year of maternity leave and 6 months of paternity leave and envy those parents. Until you have a child you don't understand how precious time is, how every minute counts: one day they are babbling incoherantly, then they utter their first word; or they are literally dragging themselves on the floor for months and then they take their first step. You want to be there. No one wants to miss those milestones. But in the real, not so perfect world we have to do the best we can.

I've been back to work for a month now and am trying to maximise my time with pumpkin:

• Get to work early. The nanny comes at 7:30 so that I should ideally be out the house by then so I can beat the morning traffic and be at work before 8 before the office noise commences. The rationale is the earlier I am in the earlier I am out
• Work through lunch. If I work through lunch and complete my tasks then I can be home by 5:30 to spend some quality time with him even if its just to put him to bed.
• Work from home. I have never been one to advocate taking work home, I have always believed that home is exactly that: "home". But with a baby who goes to sleep by 6:30 (a time when previously I would be in high gear at work) remote access in is now by new best friend. Once he's down for the count I can chug out a few more hours if neccessary.
• Get up with baby in the early morning. When Master M wakes up at 4/5/6 am to play I am tempted to just let him play on his own because I am just too tired to get up. But every hour becomes precious and so if he's up and its a little dark outside, and he wants to play, then we'll play.
• Make the weekends count. On the weekends when I have errands to run, lunch with the girls, or even a dance rehearsal, baby comes along if its practical. Its so easy to say let me just run out and go to the store, but with only 48 hours of one on one time, "my little handbag" tags along everywhere.
• Cut down on the extra-curricular activities. I love being busy, that's just me. Sitting down at home and just chilling has never been my thing. Even whilst I was pregnant, performed in a dance show, and held various positions on Boards of a number of diferent organisation. With little free time I now have, I have choosen to give up those posts for this incoming year. Who wants to be in meetings every week, when that time could be spent playing peek-a-boo? My one exception is dance ... that's the only thing that keeps me sane :).

You other new moms out there, balancing motherhood and the work world are you being successful? Any tips for me? Do share.

4 Month Master M - The Babbler

This is Master M the one whom my entire life revolves around. I gave birth to my gorgeous son 4 months 3 weeks ago and since then I have been enjoying motherhood to the fullest. My little one really is one of the sweetest babies ever (and no I'm just not saying that)....he's just so content and peaceful, not fussy at all. I really can't complain!! I hear horror stories from other new moms about how their child cries constantly, or won't sleep for more that 30 minutes at any time, but everyone is simply amazed at how relaxed, good natured and laid back he is, a quality he gets from both his parents :) Once you're on time with his bottle, he's the happiest little camper.

I know I have been scarce, practically non-existent on this blog since his birth and truthfully I would have had it no other way, but I thought today would be a great  time to break the silence....why? This morning I awoke at 6:30 am to sounds of pumpkin babbling and screaming with joy. I had to pry my eyes open so I wouldn't miss the action as I still had another 30 minutes of shut eye to left, but he was insistent on being heard. Not needing any encouragement, just an audience he continued to entertain himself, oblivious to me watching on. It truly is amazing how easily babies can entertain themselves. His Auntie Oms says "Its the angels talking to him" and I always respond "Well he's getting an earful" because this child can carry on all on his own for a good while. The wee hours of the morning are pumpkin's happiest, after that long nap (he's now up to 7-8 hours of consistent sleep at night) he's ready to take on the world even if its 4am.

What else can I tell you about my little bundle by means of introduction:
1. He loves to smile at strange women (already a player)
2. He hates to be kissed in his face
3. He loves the outdoors, but doesn't fancy the sun much
4. He prefers people to toys on any given day
5. He has a high tolerance for pain (no doubt a threshold developed during his time in the NICU)
6. He already likes rough housing with daddy

Now that I have started to post again I have quite a bit to report about the last 4 months so stay tuned for more about the love of my life, motherhood and raising my lil man.

I celebrate life everyday, and to give thanks to God for the greatest gift he could have given me.